Forwarded mails...

[Yash@finetuninglife]

Hi,

Nice one thought of sharing with ya all.

The Ultimate Humourus Truth ( One-Liners )

( Uncanny-but true !)


Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? The bus is still late.

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? If you have both, no one calls.

Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

 

[Yash@finetuninglife]

Hi,

Some thing interesting I found in the mail.

Few Management lessons

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find
an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want
to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without
a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to
be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the
office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting,
doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must
be sitting very, very high up.


A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't
got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed
with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and
found it actually gave him enough strength
to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree..

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who
shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull **** might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there..


A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the
ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lays there all warm and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and
came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

 

[maneverfix]

COOOOoooooooooooooooooL

 

[TraderRavi]

Hi,

Some thing interesting I found in the mail.

Few Management lessons

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find
an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want
to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without
a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to
be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the
office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting,
doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must
be sitting very, very high up.


A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't
got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed
with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and
found it actually gave him enough strength
to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree..

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who
shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull **** might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there..


A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the
ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lays there all warm and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and
came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

:clap::clap::clapping::clapping::rofl::rofl:

 

[guptak03]

Hi,

Some thing interesting I found in the mail.

Few Management lessons

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find
an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want
to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without
a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to
be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the
office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting,
doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must
be sitting very, very high up.


A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't
got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed
with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and
found it actually gave him enough strength
to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree..

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who
shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull **** might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there..


A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the
ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lays there all warm and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and
came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

:clap::hap2: