Henry "Henny" Youngman -16 March 1906 – 24 February 1998) was a British-born American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of "one-liners".
When many comedians told elaborate anecdotes, Youngman's routine consisted of telling simple one-liner jokes, occasionally with interludes of violin playing. These depicted simple, cartoon-like situations, eliminating lengthy build-ups and going straight to the punch line. He was known as "The King of the One Liners", a title conferred to him by columnist Walter Winchell. A stage performance by Youngman lasted only fifteen to twenty minutes but contained dozens of jokes in rapid-fire succession.
A few of his -one liners ,at times two---
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays!.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.!
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.!
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.!
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.!
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.!!
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in a club wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.!
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."
-Henry "Henny" Youngman -
When many comedians told elaborate anecdotes, Youngman's routine consisted of telling simple one-liner jokes, occasionally with interludes of violin playing. These depicted simple, cartoon-like situations, eliminating lengthy build-ups and going straight to the punch line. He was known as "The King of the One Liners", a title conferred to him by columnist Walter Winchell. A stage performance by Youngman lasted only fifteen to twenty minutes but contained dozens of jokes in rapid-fire succession.
A few of his -one liners ,at times two---
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays!.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.!
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.!
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.!
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.!
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.!!
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in a club wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.!
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."
-Henry "Henny" Youngman -