Only Jokes

[amit_dangi]

One young man went for an IAS Interview.

"When did India get independence? " He was asked.

"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.

"Who was responsible for our independence? "

"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. " He replied.

"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"

"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.

When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.

Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is your date of birth?"

He replied, " The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."

Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?"

He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another".

The interviewer was incensed.

" Hey! Are you mad or what?"

He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report ."

 

[arvind123]

 

[amit_dangi]

One day, at a school in South America a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived.

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."

The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."

The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."

The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."

As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you're a Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ".

Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I know it is Lord Krishna, but business is business!"

 

[amit_dangi]

Give the money!

Late one night, a man wearing a mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

"Give me your money!" he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You cant do this. Im a Minister!"

"In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money!"

:yahoo: :lol: :yahoo:

 

[amit_dangi]

Sometime into the future Laloo is dead and has left his wife behind. Rabri was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance.

Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, 'Rabriji! This is meeee...'

'Laloo,' she answered. 'I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?'

'Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined,' Laloo answered. 'The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over.'

'Thank God, you made it to heaven,' his wife cried.

'Heaven?' he answered. 'What heaven? I'm a cow in Bihar!'

:lol:

 

[integrity]

Dirty Train

From New Delhi to Bombay came a very dirty train. The train had many animals in the corridors, and many people eating and creating even more garbage. In one cabin, there were a Chinese and a Marwadi sitting one in front of the other.

Suddenly a fly sat on the Chinese man's head, and using his hypontic skills, he hypnotized the fly only with his eyes. Then he took the fly, opened his mouth, looked at the Marwadi, and ate it.

Five minutes later came another fly, and the Chinese guy did the same thing.

The next fly landed this time on the Marwadi's head. The Marwadi did the same thing, with his eyes he hypnotized the fly, took it, opened his mouth, looked at the Chinese guy, and asked, "Do you want to buy it?"

:yahoo: :lol: :yahoo:

 

[integrity]

Chatting At Beach
Added On Thursday, March 26, 2009 | In Hindi Jokes | By indu |
Viewed: 1790 times
While chatting at the beach, the lovers spoke to each other:

female : Oh! my dear, we are lovers for more than three years now.

Have you not thought about our marriage?

If I regret, will you feel bad?

male : I will discuss this matter with my wife and let you know
tomorrow.

female : [without any shock or surprise, replied calmly] You are also
married!

male : "...."

:yahoo: :lol: :yahoo:

 

[amit_dangi]

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled 'It really works!'



:rofl:

 

[amit_dangi]

Ek Doctor Shikaar Se Wapis Aya,
Frnd Ne Pocha Kyun Bhai Koi Shikaar Kia?
Doctor: Nahi Yaar,
Is Se To Acha Clinic Per Beth Jata..

:lol::rofl::lol:

 

[amit_dangi]

एक दुकान के बाहर लिखा था: 'इन्सानों की तरह बात करने वाला कुत्ता बिकाऊ है.'

एक आदमी दुकानदार से जाकर बोला: 'मैं उस कुत्ते को देखना चाहता हूं...' दुकानदार ने कहा: 'साथ के कमरे में बैठा है, जा कर मिल लो।'

ग्राहक उस कमरे में गया। कुर्सी पर एक हट्टा-कट्टा कुत्ता बैठा था. पूछा: 'क्यों भई, तुम यहां क्या कर रहे हो?'

[और मजेदार जोक्स पढ़ने हों तो क्लिक करें यहां पर]

कुत्ते ने बताया: 'कर तो मैं बहुत कुछ सकता हूं, लेकिन आजकल इस दुकान की रखवाली करता हूं. इससे पहले अमेरिका के जासूसी महकमे में काम करता था और कई खूंखार आतंकवादियों को पकड़वाया... फिर मैं इंग्लैंड चला गया जहां पुलिस के लिए मुखबरी करता था. एक साल बाद यहां आ गया.'

उस आदमी ने दुकानदार से पूछा: 'इतने गुणवान कुत्ते को आप बेचना क्यों चाहते हैं?'

'अव्वल नम्बर का झूठा है...' जवाब मिला.

:yahoo: :rofl: :yahoo: